As children we never really understand the impact a person has on our lives till we begin to enter the world of adulthood. With all it’s twists and turns, disappointments and joys we reflect on how we became the human being we are today and start to realize what was behind it all.

Hats and books were my friends in the attic at my Auntie Marie’s home. There I discovered a world far away from the one I lived in. The many different hats allowed me to play a character that allowed for a temporary escape from the madness I would eventually have to go home to.

Always smiling and ever so accepting of this chubby, four eyed, less than pretty creature, she always made me feel as if I were the most beautiful girl in the world. I wanted to be just like her. She was tall, thin, impeccably dressed with a hat for every outfit. She was my roll model. Polite and well spoken, she passed as gracefully as she lived.

She embraced the thought of death to once again see her beloved husband whom she missed more than she could say.

She promised me her hats and wanted me to think of her as I wore them. Did I mention I always wear hats and I can never read or write enough to feel content.

She was my “saving grace”, the attic of her home showed me a world of possibilities and I live those out each day. In my travels she was always in my thoughts knowing somehow she was listening to me as I shared my experiences with someone who truly cared. She knew who I was and embraced me for it.

I continue to take her with me in my heart as my life is still unfolding. But I know I will be safer now since she will be watching me from a ring side seat. My life was never all that monumentous but she always made me think so.

I can still hear her saying “Oh Dolly it’s so good to hear from you, I think of you everyday and love you very much”, and I knew she truly meant it.

It just takes one person to believe in you to begin to believe in yourself. We are all different yet all the same. The only thing that really matters along our journey is the love that was given in it’s purest form, “unconditionally”.

She did just that, gave love in a way that made you feel you were special in her eyes and in the eyes of the Divine who was speaking through her.

Dearest Auntie you will be missed and will live in my spirit for all eternity. Say hello to Uncle Sandy for me his smile was as big and beautiful as his spirit, so you will both recognize each others light and together burn ever so bright.

Thank you for being in my life as I have now embraced that little girl and I too love her as you did. That was the gift you gave me, to love myself enough not to look for it, for it will find you.

Go in light and love, you are free see you again!

Lots of love and gratitude


3 thoughts on “SAVING GRACE

  1. Thank you Barra, my grandmother made me feel just like your Auntie did, my great grandfather owned a felt hat factory and I am the only one who wears a hat now. I love it !!!!!

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