Sometimes I feel like a motherless child, never experiencing my favorite things, or places with her, but the idea of her is never far from my deepest thoughts and they must stay deep they are safe there and they are mine .
We are all subject to unnecessary and most often untrue criticism of who the people closest to us think we are. There’s always that odd duck in the family, I believe was put there just for amusement for those who only dream about the things that they accuse others of doing.
Well thank the gods for imagination anyway, through the years its been my best friend!
It has come with me to the most amazing places both in my head and before my eyes. It’s what gives me the idea that I can relate to all of you as I have experienced your pain and joy.
The power of words is an art form and a platform for the healing process. Getting to know yourself through the thoughts of others but more importantly getting to know yourself that the exercise of writing can unveil.
We are all writers telling stories of personal experiences or of an experience that takes place in a world only you can create.
For many years I use to wish I could write, tell stories that aloud others to escape in. Then something amazing happened, I realized through all my pain, suffering, and struggle for personal identity my life was an adventure taylor made for me, and if the past had been anything different, if I had a nurturing mother then my experiences would be different and perhaps not so understanding.
Throughout my life I resented the lack of love and understanding my mother found impossible to give me. I often wondered who and what I would have become if I had made the choices that were right for me, instead of constantly looking for unconditional love and acceptance from the one person I truly needed it from.
Then I began to consider how she must have felt, being let down by her preconceived notions of who I should have been as her daughter. Acceptance began to creep in as I understood for the first time that I was the mother and she was a child doing the best she knew how to in her evolutionary process.
So you see just because we are mothers doesn’t mean we know everything and have all the answers especially if we are young souls.
Embracing the child within me allowed for the recognition of just how much of an old soul I’am and thought how special I must truly be for the Universe to recognize the need for me to come through my mother, as she was a “work in progress”.
The unnecessary suffering I put myself through all those years thinking I was slighted by not having a nurturing mother has caused me to go deep into the trenches of my greatest fear “that I was not good enough” has arisen to a new story of me one that will go on and on through all of eternity, and the message I received from the Universe is one I pass along to you.
Love yourself enough so the expectations of others is limited by your limitlessness to love and embrace the truth of things even if at first you don’t get it, try and try again! It only took me 55++ years to get it.
There are no short cuts to true spirituality and do not be fooled by those who profess to be evolved spiritually, the proof is in the pudding, as we have all heard. What I know now about that saying is the depth and texture of love can be tasted by everyone.
Acceptance of “what is” allows for you to take the pressure off yourself to not fight the facts but proceed with the solution that is just waiting for you to see without any guilt or shame attached to it. For we are only human, or are we?
Love and acceptance